this is old, bitter that it still holds some value

again i'm sitting in the familiar spot
it's hard to deny i'm writing where i should not
it's harder to defy i'm thinking what i cannot
my home head is blank and dreary
my body defies logic, it's endlessly weary
the bright of the screen eludes most of what is behind
white colour drowns my sight and throws me blind
i need to escape the comfort of this cage
a nightmare of grey and white monotony
to look closely at the terrifying concept of age
dragged on and on in the same four borders
i couldn't want for less, and i will not be selfless
when my life is dragging, snails pace too quick
get off this bandwagon, hide, die or get sick
the tiredness is creeping, gaining momentum
i'm hoping it doesn't get too close
'cos these smokes have ruined my lungs
and god knows, i'm in no shape to run