how petty a person i am, shallow, self involved
i haven't had the time to think of you yet today

i miss you so much, it grinds inside my stomach
don't be stupid, how can you miss a stranger?
how could you be so selfish, leaving me here
you are cruel, you are unknown, you disappear
why won't you stay in my memory, you are only dark fear
i'm so sorry, i shouldn't speak, i should never move
just sit inside and dissolve inward, just like you
feed the earth, open my heart and fill it with fear
give birth to these flowers, i'll nourish them with tears
i'll water them every day i think of you
i can't begin to find any words that match this, myself
can't do any justice to the amount of pain present
why did she make me think of you again
you were gone, cast from my mind, it's been months
i cannot speak of you without feeling a choke
i can't bear you to fade anymore, you were never here
broken broken broken broken broken broken broken broken

i will never know the right way to think of you
i'm fine with it okay, i'm so good at lying
it's been 11 years okay, i'm so good at lying
really, life is great okay, i'm so good at lying
i had even fooled myself, i'm so good at lying
you're already gone, i can't differentiate now
what is right? what is wrong?
this isn't real though is it, is it real
i'm not inside a box, not nailed shut
not searching for a hole that holds light
not burrowing for air or hyperventilating
not empty of substance, mind and memories

i've missed my cue now, really gone off track
all i really wanted to say was that i love you
and i miss you so much, everything black
stop fucking around now, just please come back?