this doesn't seem right
i was really scared you know
just terribly terrified of it
doesn't mean i wasn't in it though
i'm still in it, still waiting for the next
listening to this makes it all so ripe
throws me right back into and through the loop
it would have been nice to see you again
for nothing more than sight and smiles.

i had forgotten all about this place

i can't dismiss the beauty in anything
the beauty of my inability to speak
my inconsistency with words
the inability to spell and pronounce
is nothing of which i intended
and less of which you will understand
the still frame sat before me is vast
but doused in smoke and mist
clouded by hazy eyes
and wet by milky teeth
i smell your burning as you rest inside my throat
and linger on the surface of my tongue
to the one who cannot lift her hand for seconds to pass
to the one clouded by a dozen smokey thoughts
you are incoherent and you are destructible
you cannot feel my fingertips anymore
and your imagination has faded
you speak to me as if i am not within
you speak to me with a silent buzzing
you won't stop
you speak to me for days on end

just saw it again, and
it's not that i miss it, i don't miss it.

it is really strange, being blindsided by these little flickers of the way it used to feel the last time i listened to this, i'm suddenly right back into it and i'm breathless. i suppose it bares a similar ethos to facing a fear. to maybe holding a spider, or jumping out of a plane, but where adrenaline consumes, lethargy replaces, and i don't like it.

i really fucking miss you
it's not like i can voice this adequately
or speak in tongues, poised, paused sporadically
all i can do in present state of mind
is recite normality, no riddles, no simile
it's so very obvious, born from the same kind
but now you're absent and i'm left
and like i said previously, aimlessly, innocently:
i really fucking miss you.

i've been silently waiting for this time to waver
although i'd never tell, i am fickle
time passed through, i only want to savour this
i can yield my guard, all pretenses are thrown, discarded
and i can taste it rich, the flavour is stronger than i
though i can still envision myself entombed in this room
teleporting endless from the aching comfort of my bed
you're always curled around me, inside

this is a bit of alright

i am safe without it i am safe without it
but i feel all this way leaning on this way
i steal, i heal i'll do it again
over and over and over and over