everything is falling into place
i have such a good feeling about this

oh man

This is not healthy.

creptin

i don't even read it anymore
i just look outside the words
focus on the spaces, no rhythm heard
and it's not even listening anymore
not even half of what i breathed before
and yeah okay, i miss it
and i keep getting little snippets
flashing, dashing under closed eyelids
breathing steady, beneath sheets tightly hid
still, it is what it is, and what it is, is shit

it's been five years and some change
and this world is getting so strange
but this house smells just the same
but my mom, my sweet mom
she don't remember my name

i sit on her bed and kiss right behind the ear
she calls out for a dog that's been dead for a year
i say how is it going just like i didn't know
i hold on to both of her hands too afraid to let go
and five times exactly no more or no less
she says how you been eating boy
and i say, okay i guess
in this room where she made me each day she grows weak
she flips on the golden girls and the first tear hits my cheek

it's been five years

these boys keep my feet glued down
i can't begin to explain how much

taste

this is exactly how i feel right now, lovely

not even slightly

i can't get over how quick, just how fast

there's just something pure unyielding unscathed
she has once again repeated the night, not wasted time
not wasted breath, no silence shed, no words left kept
so open, so vivid, alive bursting through my sheets
so try as i might i can't hate you anymore
this one is something else
there is nowhere in dreams that i'd rather be
all those salted ashes have fluttered away
and there is nothing but this surrounding me

check in

reiteration is the utmost objection to veer from
it's dozens of times now i've said it's enough
more time than limbs i've halfheartedly made the decision
to stop this fizzling in my cranium
it's gnawing at my thought patterns
screen is buzzing profusely it doesn't falter
today was the last time, this is done i promise
i'm one short stumble away from engulfing
all and everything they have worked so hard to steer me from
i don't want to do this anymore, don't want to be fuzzy and disorganised
but it's okay, i've done it before
it's begun to chip away my exterior
it's enough, i'm so tired of this maneuver
i'm out, i'm done


you have no idea, not anymore, nothing of me
i'm trying to walk in a straight line, just trying to keep my eyes open