i don't even

it seems like all i ever do is silently miss you. there really is nothing that can be said to dampen this, nothing could ever do you justice. i wish there were a way to think of you without that empty sinking feeling, i love to hear things about you, about when you were young and to hear how much i remind people of you, but anything heard or thought about is endlessly coupled with this prominent gut ache, it's all bitter sweet. i really wish you were here tonight, it's only recently hit me, but i don't really know what to do without you, everything is a little more pointless, all shaded slightly pastel, it's dull. i wonder what you would say if you could speak, it really would be nice to know what your voice sounds like. God I miss you.