'Black
Then…
Eternal darkness
Then…
Black, empty consciousness
Then…
Warmth?
Then…
Recognition of self.
Then…
A presence
Behind me
Then…
Development of sense of self
Then…
Red, red, red, RED, RED, RED, RED!!!!'

i walked to fast, sped up, now i'm just running, fucking sprinting to the line, my legs don't ache yet, i don't need to inhale yet, only run away; then collapse ready for 3 days of onslaught, 4 days of fatigue, a week of regret, months of denial, years of dependence > 3 hours of ecstasy.
i can't do this anymore.