i hate everyone
in one way or another
i hate them all
they're all the same
shifting their funds
shifting the blame
thin, fat, short, tall
i hate them all
i fucking hate them all
but not you
i've never hated you

i'd lay down to rest in the crook of your arm
feel your body fight the urge to nervously shift
i'd feel you try to keep steady, to keep calm
and let the thrum of your heart drown out the world
i'd hold your fingers so tight and let your skin burn through mine
i'd speed up as you slow down until our breath ringed in time
i wouldn't want to go, but if i lost the fight
i couldn't think of a better place to be
when my world went black and my eyes closed soft
than with you, with your body locked around me
holding me so usual, as if i'm just drifting off to sleep

fuck you in your little green tower
surrounded by these cretins
basking in your petty power
twenty five years you've spent in this place
twenty five years you've lived at this pace
ever so fast and ever so slow
it's all you ever had, all you've ever known
you'll probably die here, still taking orders
still smiling fake and laughing empty
how many nights have you spent here
how much time have you wasted
by how many people are you hated
fuck you and the hours that you rob
there is more to life than your miserable fucking job

do something now.

my head is an empty sore
and i'm always alone
everything is a fucking chore
i miss my home
i just want to come home

sleep is cruel and sleep is deceitful

it's so full of empty promises

of tomorrows that are better than yesterday

of a fresh breath brought by a new day

sleep traps moments, distorts reality

replacing it with carefully distorted memories

my eyes are dried out

i can't bear to sleep

the window's been open all night

i'm still pushing it

endless cascades of rain cool the air

and all i can think is, how can it be fair

that in a life already too fleeting

we're condemned to spend half of it sleeping

we're only here


briefly

wouldn't it be nice if you could see to the inside peoples minds
so you could see all those ugly things that people try to hide
and you could see who is stained red, and who is painted blue
so you'd know who not to let the fuck near to you
if people were colours you'd all be black, soaked right through
'cause you're greedy, you're selfish, you're all so fucking cruel
and you envelop, no, you destroy anything that gets close to you

i'm sorry i'm leaving and i'm not taking you with me

you've been waiting for this day for fifteen years, and now it's come, is it all you thought it would be, does it feel how you imagined it would feel. i guess not. hope is a dangerous thing, it should come with a big fucking warning attached. objects in the mirror may be closer than they appear. objects may slam into you fast or they might creep up slow. i'm sorry you're family is gone, i'm sorry that you feel all alone. i'm sorry i'm to blame even though i did nothing wrong. i'm sorry i just can't be who you want. i'm sorry that this is how your life played out, cold, lonely and without. i'm sorry you're an inside out orphan, i'm sorry i'm one too. i'm sorry you stole my mother all those birthdays ago. i'm sorry you turned her into someone i will never know. i'm sorry i don't cry enough, i'm sorry i don't cry at all. i'm sorry that i can't forgive you however hard i try. i'm sorry you don't know how long my hair has got and i'm sorry you can't see all the love i've got. i'm sorry you don't know my favourite song or how i look at 2 in the morning. i'm sorry you can't place the sound of my voice, and you've forgotten my smell. i'm sorry you don't know me at all.
i'm sorry i'm leaving, and i can't see you before i go. please don't die whilst i'm on the road. when i get home i'll call you up, i'll invite you in. you'll have eighteen years to catch up on. i promise i'll write you, i'll let you know. i'm still not all together ready to let you go. and i love you, just so you know, no matter what you stole, no matter who you are. even though you can't count all your wrongs, i still love you, i loved you all along.