all i have to offer now is drivel, this fractured smile and a fucking terrible cope method, i can't muster up anything coherent, propelling all this happiness outward, only outward, nothing gets soaked in. my head is blank, there really is nothing.

In these times, when enduring great strain
I do it, I've done it, just shut down my brain
It's a blocking system, it reduces the pain
Shutting, cutting it out with nothing to gain
My heart is aching, bloated inside my chest
Nothing touches me here, all I do is rest
It's like you are trying, putting me to a test
Stay silent, stay absent, keep molesting my heart

I never felt so entirely breathless
this is fine, just keep telling myself I'm fine
and this is all in place, it's all for the best
I'm so good at lying
see I lied when I said it was all in my head
'cos nine times out of ten it was you I wanted

everything once neatly stacked is now scattered, it's all over, and i'm trying but i can't keep hold of all these pieces, it's shattered glass cutting deep, shredding apart shaking hands.

asprin

today i opened my mouth too wide
and swallowed a cluster of tiny flies
now they are growing fast inside
i feel them swelling, and swimming around
what if they grow too large, what if they multiply
i can't fight them when they're shielded
they laugh deep echoes, mocking me
what are you eating inside there?
food no longer fills me, stomach's always empty
i'll give up, yield all pride and sacrifice
most of nothing and all of this
for one chance, i can't hold on to sand, i must
exhale dirt, open eyes, firmly hold bliss

everything was in technicolor for a short time
i blinked twice, now it's back to black and white

i guess love's a funny thing the way it fades away without a warning
it doesn't ask to be excused
and when it's gone, oh it's gone, it ain't ever coming back
there is nothing you can do to save it
to make it breathe the way it did, when you were sliding on the ring
trust me, it's gone for good
now there is nothing you can do stop me
she is happy when she is with me, and i am, i am finally alive
i'm sorry

don't write me

empty stock, you're flailing fluttered through the breeze
so perfectly unlocked, just paining in comparison
you can't stain this part of me, this part is shallow
you'll never attain this part of me, this part is callous
you'd be robbed and beaten if i could follow my instinct
left waiting, only waiting for me to feel some distinct guilt
i won't touch that side, not for your empty pleading, not from shallow breathing
you can hold tight to hope, but it's hopeless, any part of me to attain is flawless
and your flaws rise sky high, don't cascade, you are a fucking mess
you are nothing to be touched, stay far away, you digress
to lower stages to unread pages, something i'll no longer be enraged by
you're no longer here, and i want nothing of you, i wish i were nothing of you
but still i'm half of you, and that half is something to detest
now i'm left with this split person, one which smiles, the one to desire, to celebrate
the other, it's murderous, it's terrifying, it cowers and holds nothing but hate
and i am sorry, i know it's cruel, but i'll say it anyway
i wish you were dead, i've wished for it every day

you crawled up inside and now you won't go, you won't leave
and i thought i saw you last night, woven around me, tangled between my sheets
i felt you crying, heavy flagging, hiding back beneath my sleeve
the windows smashed inside, crashed up, stopped dangling over the eave
i've started to doubt it, started to believe this isn't all it promised to be
and now something's blocking, shielding you, something silent is screaming at me
to stop

no será tan fácil ya sé qué pasa
no será tan simple como pensaba
quién dijo que todo está perdido
yo vengo a ofrecer mi corazón