i'm praying for nightmares again tonight, so i've riddled myself with terror all day long. silently hoping for something to fear, wanting for anything, even in sleep. i need to be rid of this place, it's numbing, like a slowly creeping, all consuming lithium.

empty bed. breathing steady
smile is etched healthy
stretched thin across

empty bed. can't breathe

cruel, but i can't help but find this ever so funny
and i just feel sorry, chin up, i really am sorry
you'll get someone who wants you, but that's not me
you can drop all your pretenses now, i'm not angry
not even a little

oh ps. i miss you

fuck.
it just hit me hard, real hard, that when i leave
it's the last you will ever see of me
i pushed all this pent up feeling right out on my sleeve
'cause i've nothing to lose, i'll be gone before the ground meets my feet
i put it all out there, told you exactly what you wanted to hear
so i can quiet this aching, silence that nagging fear
'cause right then, that was the only chance i'll ever get
so i'll smile and be foolish, i can take solace in that
i won't spend years wondering, clutching tight to regret

Give it a little more time. Rest assured, you'll be alright.
With a heart like yours, you'll do just fine.

you have no idea just how many times you've saved me. fuck, i'm going to miss you so much when i leave, sometimes i can't bear the thought of it. you really are the very best part of me.