It's bitterly fucking cold tonight and you aren't here
so I'm dropping back into memory, you breathing close to my ear
clutched around so tight, spilling warmth into me
I can say with ease, there is nowhere on earth I'd rather be
than under draped covers, smothered ever so gently
your heartbeat humming that fast, familiar rhythm
the world buzzing, dulling outside, hidden
just barely aware of your body next to me
that is my undoubtedly favourite place to be
that is where I am really, fucking, happy

a drop in the ocean sets the waves in motion

rapidly growing, edging closer to knowing

but never fully building momentum

and just like everything else, it dies

falls dim and calms into a steady rhythm

and in time, it flows still once again 

remember not our faulty pieces 
remember not our rusted parts
It's not the petty imperfections that define us
but the way we hold our hearts 
and the way we hold our heads
I hope they write your name beside mine
on my gravestone when I'm dead

I need to leave 

I can’t marry this place

I won’t bury the past 

I just need a change of scenery 

I'm finally leaving

Full Lungs Bursting

I wrote and rewrote the last prose 8 times
lingered and dithered over the last 3 lines
I'm out, running dry on anger now
just solemnly owed, not quite devout
there's only one way to tame a naughty child
through mild mannered will and acceptance
reluctance to raise a hand is suggested
trust nothing told, tried or tested
it was you who said it, not me
but I'm too exhausted to fight
you're just stubborn and I'm bored now
eager to shed you, I'm finally beginning to forget you
like I've said a dozen times, it wasn't you it couldn't have been
it only was, it must have been, the situation in which I was encased in
because there's really not that much to you. Pretty boring, not quite pretty
ill mannered and self repressed, all to eager to get undressed
though I  don't know why you would, I'm ever so sorry sweetheart
but you're really not so good.

2010

Now I'm stretching out to grab the future
the sutures have fallen out and healed
I've peeled away a whole layer of skin
I let you in and you stopped the blood clot
you stopped me dead in my tracks
you stacked my hopes higher than before
you swore yourself to me, you swore that I am yours
you've promised me everything and more

I still yearn to see the world again through childlike eyes, to know everything but still wonder, to regard everything with such surprise