may i capture the buzzing within your head. hold your crumpled ideas with a determined hand and effortlessly straighten them out, let me smooth out the creases above your eyes, and mold your cheeks into a healthy smile, i don't want your mind to hurt.
you help my stomach do flips. lets start over.
Friday, 4 June 2010
Thursday, 3 June 2010
i could sit in this spot all day and night
smoking and listening to florence
slightly shaded, but not too much
i don't want to talk or think here
just sit and be shallow, almost empty
my body's quite worn right now
but i'm still going to dance tonight
and i won't sleep again tonight
worn worn overly tired out and breaking
still, i'ma be alright, i always am
it's only minor chemicals in my system
and an irritating, overbearing chest infection
smoking and listening to florence
slightly shaded, but not too much
i don't want to talk or think here
just sit and be shallow, almost empty
my body's quite worn right now
but i'm still going to dance tonight
and i won't sleep again tonight
worn worn overly tired out and breaking
still, i'ma be alright, i always am
it's only minor chemicals in my system
and an irritating, overbearing chest infection
the morning ache is coming about
waiting in a smoke hazed fresh room
condemning the birds, running from light
there's nothing miserable about today
only one small hindrance, empty shell
i don't want closed eyes, it's only wasteful
i'm in a trance, no coherent words escape me
only muddled half rhymes and well planned allowances
see how tall these lines are thinning
not small and sharp, ran from the beginning
open empty, alcoves are plenty and growing
tiny ulcers form inside my neck
crawling on out, searching for light
open your mouth, swallow this might
wash it right down, and clutch it so tight
don't let it go, not now, not tonight
see where this heads, i bet it's alright
waiting in a smoke hazed fresh room
condemning the birds, running from light
there's nothing miserable about today
only one small hindrance, empty shell
i don't want closed eyes, it's only wasteful
i'm in a trance, no coherent words escape me
only muddled half rhymes and well planned allowances
see how tall these lines are thinning
not small and sharp, ran from the beginning
open empty, alcoves are plenty and growing
tiny ulcers form inside my neck
crawling on out, searching for light
open your mouth, swallow this might
wash it right down, and clutch it so tight
don't let it go, not now, not tonight
see where this heads, i bet it's alright
this is old, bitter that it still holds some value
again i'm sitting in the familiar spot
it's hard to deny i'm writing where i should not
it's harder to defy i'm thinking what i cannot
my home head is blank and dreary
my body defies logic, it's endlessly weary
the bright of the screen eludes most of what is behind
white colour drowns my sight and throws me blind
i need to escape the comfort of this cage
a nightmare of grey and white monotony
to look closely at the terrifying concept of age
dragged on and on in the same four borders
i couldn't want for less, and i will not be selfless
when my life is dragging, snails pace too quick
get off this bandwagon, hide, die or get sick
the tiredness is creeping, gaining momentum
i'm hoping it doesn't get too close
'cos these smokes have ruined my lungs
and god knows, i'm in no shape to run
again i'm sitting in the familiar spot
it's hard to deny i'm writing where i should not
it's harder to defy i'm thinking what i cannot
my home head is blank and dreary
my body defies logic, it's endlessly weary
the bright of the screen eludes most of what is behind
white colour drowns my sight and throws me blind
i need to escape the comfort of this cage
a nightmare of grey and white monotony
to look closely at the terrifying concept of age
dragged on and on in the same four borders
i couldn't want for less, and i will not be selfless
when my life is dragging, snails pace too quick
get off this bandwagon, hide, die or get sick
the tiredness is creeping, gaining momentum
i'm hoping it doesn't get too close
'cos these smokes have ruined my lungs
and god knows, i'm in no shape to run
Wednesday, 2 June 2010
Tuesday, 1 June 2010
how petty a person i am, shallow, self involved
i haven't had the time to think of you yet today
i miss you so much, it grinds inside my stomach
don't be stupid, how can you miss a stranger?
how could you be so selfish, leaving me here
you are cruel, you are unknown, you disappear
why won't you stay in my memory, you are only dark fear
i'm so sorry, i shouldn't speak, i should never move
just sit inside and dissolve inward, just like you
feed the earth, open my heart and fill it with fear
give birth to these flowers, i'll nourish them with tears
i'll water them every day i think of you
i can't begin to find any words that match this, myself
can't do any justice to the amount of pain present
why did she make me think of you again
you were gone, cast from my mind, it's been months
i cannot speak of you without feeling a choke
i can't bear you to fade anymore, you were never here
broken broken broken broken broken broken broken broken
i will never know the right way to think of you
i'm fine with it okay, i'm so good at lying
it's been 11 years okay, i'm so good at lying
really, life is great okay, i'm so good at lying
i had even fooled myself, i'm so good at lying
you're already gone, i can't differentiate now
what is right? what is wrong?
this isn't real though is it, is it real
i'm not inside a box, not nailed shut
not searching for a hole that holds light
not burrowing for air or hyperventilating
not empty of substance, mind and memories
i've missed my cue now, really gone off track
all i really wanted to say was that i love you
and i miss you so much, everything black
stop fucking around now, just please come back?
i haven't had the time to think of you yet today
i miss you so much, it grinds inside my stomach
don't be stupid, how can you miss a stranger?
how could you be so selfish, leaving me here
you are cruel, you are unknown, you disappear
why won't you stay in my memory, you are only dark fear
i'm so sorry, i shouldn't speak, i should never move
just sit inside and dissolve inward, just like you
feed the earth, open my heart and fill it with fear
give birth to these flowers, i'll nourish them with tears
i'll water them every day i think of you
i can't begin to find any words that match this, myself
can't do any justice to the amount of pain present
why did she make me think of you again
you were gone, cast from my mind, it's been months
i cannot speak of you without feeling a choke
i can't bear you to fade anymore, you were never here
broken broken broken broken broken broken broken broken
i will never know the right way to think of you
i'm fine with it okay, i'm so good at lying
it's been 11 years okay, i'm so good at lying
really, life is great okay, i'm so good at lying
i had even fooled myself, i'm so good at lying
you're already gone, i can't differentiate now
what is right? what is wrong?
this isn't real though is it, is it real
i'm not inside a box, not nailed shut
not searching for a hole that holds light
not burrowing for air or hyperventilating
not empty of substance, mind and memories
i've missed my cue now, really gone off track
all i really wanted to say was that i love you
and i miss you so much, everything black
stop fucking around now, just please come back?
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